Now before I can really get into this story, one has to understand my feelings towards someone at work,whom, so he is not confused in future posts with a much better person by the same name, I shall call Billy. This guy annoys me like my brother and sister do. Every word out of his mouth angers me in some way or another. Not because it’s insulting, but because I just can’t stand the stupid things he says. He claims to have seen a Dodo bird in Regina. He also claims to have a girlfriend, though that’s debatable.

Now Billy, whose every wordis questionable on its validity, decides he needs to give me some advice. I sit at my little desk, minding my own business (which happens to be talking on a web messenger and listening to my iPod), and he taps me on the shoulder.

“Who are you talking to?” he asks me.

“My friend Josh.” I don’t bother to look at him at this point.

“Is he your boyfriend?”

“No, my boyfriend’s name is named Garrett.”

“Does he work here?” He is, of course, referencing a friend of mine by the same name as my boyfriend, albeit with a different spelling.

“No.” I say nothing of my boyfriend’s location.

“Do you like him?” I thought this was a very stupid question, and I told him so. “So do you love him?”

This, I figured, was also a stupid question, but I answered him with a simple “Yes.”

“Does he love you?” Again with the stupid questions. After over a year with someone, you just know if you love someone, and if they love you. Distance or not. I told Billy this. “But are you sure he loves you? I can give you advice you know. People listen to my advice.”

It took a lot not to laugh at that. This guy who has less credibility than a spoon trying to give me advice on something he likely knows nothing about. I tell him I’d rather take the advice given to me by my best friend whom I’ve known since grade one. I’d even rather take advice from someone I’ve known for less than a year. But this guy? No way.

And you know what he tells me?

“You’d rather take the advice of your best friend over me?” And he says it like he doesn’t believe it.

At which point I proceeded to tell him my relationship was none of his business and to leave me alone. This conversation I have transcribed nearly word for word.

Ridiculous.